Why Do You Let Me Stay Here

I am really proud of myself for learning how to embed videos.



<3 Zooey and M. Ward

Script

I got my script for As You Like It last night, but it is in my awesome computer making it a bit difficult to read. Luckily I will be getting a hard copy at the first rehearsal on Saturday.

Am trying to enjoy today and Wednesday because they are my weekend this week. Gonna be a crazy weekend of filming to come.

I am very happy I know how to post videos on here now. It is very useful. Now in the future I can post videos I enjoy! duh.

Dinner.

Signs

Found this short film online and I just thought it was adorable.

It's really well made, directed by Patrick Hughes, and really well acted with no words. The short I am doing has no dialogue as well and it is incredibly challenging. This is a really good example of it being done well.

It's Saturday.

We filmed just one scene last night, basically with me just looking out the window. It took a while to shoot because the camera was on a dolly so it took a while to figure out the exact track and the pace and such. I had to stand there for about an hour while they figured that out as well as the lighting because clearly I do not have a stand in. One day that will be nice!

But I don't mind, I think it's interesting, especially lighting. I could never do it, it just boggles my mind, I just have no understanding of how lighting works. They were saying things that I just did not get. I mean obviously I know what apertures and light meters are and such but I think it's so interesting and complex how all the stuff in conjunction works to make a scene look completely different and give it atmosphere.

Since the majority of the takes were from the back of me, I had to be clothespinned into my dress because as with most costumes, it was way too big on me. I looked like a nutball covered in clothespins down the front of my dress. I took some pictures and of the house but since my camera is from the dinosaur ages I have to go get a cd made and then upload it to the computer. Then I will post them. But unfortunately I cannot put it up now. That would have been a lovely addition to this post. Put it on my list of things I need but probably won't have for a while.

No shooting today, but probably tomorrow filming more stuff alone. The guy who plays my husband cannot film tomorrow because he has to go to church.

What a lovely spring day. I even got out of bed at a human hour (for my that is 10 30) and went to brunch. Shocking I know. It's hard for me to interact with humans before noon.

we begin

We are starting principle photography on Checkmate today, though Stuart says that he is thinking about changing the title. I kind of like it but if he wants to change it obviously I don't care too much.

I am just shooting one night scene tonight where I disable a car like the nuns in The Sound of Music when they take the parts out of the Nazi's cars. Badass I know. I don't think I will be so badass but I think there will be fog and maybe even fake rain! I do love special effects.

Met with the cast and other ppl the other day and went to the location where we are shooting, it's a pretty awesome creepy house so it should look great. Especially at night and with lots of fog.

And how great is it that SPRING IS HERE. Finally. God I hate winter. It makes me sad. Even here where it's obviously beautiful every day it still seems dreary and static and grey.

Happy to be starting a new movie. Happy it is warm out. Can't wait to start rehearsing soon.

Hi

I have a meeting with the director for the film I am doing tonight and meeting the other actor and crew for the first time. It's right at dinnertime! Is it unprofessional to bring my own dinner? Le sigh.

I'm looking forward to getting started on that. It should be really interesting visually and I got a chance to look at and try on my costumes and they look really awesome.

I know that by this point everyone has seen the Where the Wild Things Are trailer, but can we reiterate how amazing it looks? Maybe it's just because all of my friends are actors and artists but everyone I know has a link or posted some kind of comment about it because it looks so incredibly beautiful! I really can't wait And the soundtrack is gonna be freaking amazing. Let's all drown in hipster awesomeness thanks to Arcade Fire. I would embed the video on here but I just don't know how to do that. I don't have those skillzzzz. If anyone would like to take some time to tell me how to do that it would be much appreciated. Internets is hard.

Jump Rope?

Didn't do much today other than work out and then go to work with my babies. Little Baby B is teething so it was not the best day.

I wonder when the time will come that I don't have to work out anymore. I don't mean like completely live a sedentary lifestyle because that is just gross but I mean, not working out 6 days a week for over an hour. That will be nice.

I am shocked, SHOCKED that I haven't had any takers on my invitation to co-habitate in the pink cottage.


Anyways. Maeby says "hey."

Don't Judge Me...

But I just got a twitter! Muahahaha.

I was super reluctant to get one but hey, I find the mundane inanities of bored celebrities to be highly entertaining. And lord knows I can always use a new distraction.

Follow me! @Ooh_la_lola

Got my schedule for the film. I really hate early morning calls. Luckily don't have any of those this week.

Reminder: Anyone who can please visit www.theatricians.com to get information about a great show!

Also, I keep forgetting to mention it here but visit www.strike.tv to watch West Guild Story. It premiered FINALLY last month on the first anniversary of the Writer's Strike.

Sundays are Enjoyable...

When one doesn't have to work on Monday.

Ended up not filming this week, Director Stuart decided to shoot exteriors this weekend so I won't start until next weekend I believe. And today I emailed my director for As You Like It to make sure that I don't have a rehearsal on the day of my brother's college graduation.

I have missed so many family functions as a result of rehearsals throughout the years. I think two weddings, my grandparents Wedding vow Renewal, My grandma's huge birthday party, and two trips to Las Vegas. I am NOT missing my brother's graduation. Especially because we are getting a Taco Truck for the party. I love Taco Trucks.

Now I am hungry again. Sigh. No one likes a fat actress.




Look what I found:



Who wants to live with me here??

Well...

I don't have to work this weekend, which is always a nice change of pace but at the same time, since I am starting rehearsals for the play and start filming Checkmate this week also I am not going to be able to work as much at my non-acting job. So I am trying to save up, but at the same time, I want to enjoy the weekends I don't have to work!

It's a lame conundrum.

My puppy is glad I am home though. But she definitely won't be happy when we run out of yummy organic puppy food and we have to start stealing Butterscotch's dry icky senior food when I don't have any $$ in a few weeks. I kid. I'll just share my dinner with her.




Maeby is not amused.

I Smell Like Coppertone.

Thank god it is hot out again. I am obsessive about sunscreen and wear it every day but when the sun gets really strong again in the spring and summer, I bust out the Coppertone. No UV rays will get me. I may be the palest girl in California now, but I'll have less wrinkles and sunspots later!

I am always beyond pale at my auditions in comparison with other girls. Especially when I go to the "Latina" calls. I don't really fit in when I go to those. But even standard auditions I am one of the few who is not tan or orange. It is just so unappealing. I don't understand when orange became acceptable.

My imagination has been in overdrive lately, I'm not quite sure why, but I find myself more distracted and daydreaming than usual. But in a strange way it helps to keep me focused and keeps my brain on a creative track. I work with babies and yesterday when one of the kids fell asleep while I was holding her, I literally disappeared into my mind for a good half hour or maybe more, just letting my thoughts follow each other, and see where they went. Like an imaginative stream of consciousness I suppose. I like hearing music, then transporting myself to being present when the music being played, then I start to think about all the different ways that music can be showcased. Then I usually try to develop some kind of movement based stage piece that would somehow go with whatever I am listening to. It rarely works.

Yesterday I was having my kids listen to Irish music for obvious reasons and my brain just floated around for a while trying to creatively connect certain songs or sounds with physical movement or with light.

I do this alot when I listen to Muse. I used them in the one person show I wrote a few years ago because I really find the epic and theatrical quality lends well to theatre. That band in particular really motivates me to daydream about the possibilities of different performance ideas. I really like the idea of taking really theatrical music, and putting it with amazing graphics, dancers, actors, lighting, and seeing what kind of strange piece would come of it. Like a contemporary ballet or something. Set to Queen. That would be awesome and weird.

I think about that stuff sometimes. It is good for my brain I think.

Oh and how amazing does this movie look? I hope it blows away my imagination and mind.



I hope it is everything I want it to be. More thinking outside the box, please.

I like it.

Found out last night that I got cast in As You Like It.

I am very glad to finally be back onstage, it seems like it has been ages, though it probably has not been an unreasonable amount of time. I ended up getting cast in a secondary role, which I have decided is actually going to work much better for me at this moment in time, since this weekend I begin filming a short film for Stuart McClave and will be working on that for about a month. So my time will need to be split between those two projects for the next couple of months.

I am looking forward to being busy with something other than watching babies. Not that I don't enjoy that. But it is just a means to an end and not something I am entirely passionate about.

Last night I went to the Ruby Theatre at the Complex to see my brilliant friends perform in Pounding Nails in the Floor with my Forehead. It was a fantastic cast - Josh Heisler and Tracy Woodward (the Artistic Directors of the Theatricians Theater Company) really did an amazing job at getting everything together and putting on a really wonderful show. Their hard work did not go unnoticed and I hope that more people are able to see the show and it gets the recognition they deserve. I am so proud of my talented friends! It is so rewarding to see wonderful actors getting to put on great shows. Oh look they have a website! www.theatricians.com. I know I am not alone in hoping they put on lots more shows!




What lovely and talented friends I have. It is so incredible that out of one acting program so many talented and hard working actors can emerge.

In other news, I think I am going to take an Aerial Arts class in the coming weeks. I am really interested in Tissu and while I know I lack the upper body strength that is required to climb up a silk sheet, I think I can do it! I am really motivated to learn more circus stuff. Trapeze and Rings are next!

Let 's not lie, I will probably break some bones but it will probably be worth it in the end.
Yes?

Beware the Ides of March.

Julius Caesar is one of my favorite Shakespeare plays as well as one of my favorite historical figure. Because I am awesome like that. I guess in a historical context, I love the era more than I love Julius Caesar himself.

One of my favorite speeches is when Portia begs Brutus to not go kill Caesar (even though she doesn't know that is what he is gonna do. She just knows he is being a lying weirdo). I have done that speech a bunch of times for auditions.

I love that Shakespeare humanizes pretty much everyone in his plays, no matter how evil or twisted they are. Even with Richard III the audience can see that despite his innate evilness, he clearly has overcompensation issues because of his deformity. I kinda get why Brutus and Cassius did what they did. And I mean, they obviously regretted it after.

Poor little Caesar.

Happy Ides.

I am superstitious because I have bad luck.

headaches.

Went to my callback this evening. It was at the LGBT center in Hollywood, which was gorgeous! Such a nice museum and great offices and rehearsal space for the Gay Men's Chorus. I guess the Chorus let us use their rehearsal space for the callback.

The bathrooms in the building are all unisex, probably to acomodate our trannylicious friends, but it was gross to go in and use a bathroom that clearly had been used by dirty boys. Gives me the icks. Lord knows I love a good tranny though.

The callback went well, I mean whatever they all do right? Unless I totally screw up they are all pretty much the same. I can gauge my performance pretty well and I was well prepared so I did all I could. Did two Orlando/Rosalind scenes, both twice after getting notes from the director. They were very nice and seem to know their Shakespeare which is always good to see.

Hopefully will know or not know soon.

Pretty much immediatly after an audition I let it go. I can't dwell or think or anything because I would go crazy I think. I can't just think about them once they are finished. It would probably give me a nervous breakdown. Especially as it seems to be getting harder and harder to deal with. It probably comes in waves. My ability to handle it, I mean.

As soon as I left the callback I got a pounding headache that still hasn't gone away. I think that I just so intensely have to focus on the audition that when I finally am finished all that tension goes straight to my head. It's like when people have seizures. When people come out of them they are exhausted like they ran a marathon because all the electrical shit in their brains goes haywire. It's kind of like that. Except non-life threatening. Right?

Preparing.

I've been working on my side's for the callback I have on Thursday, they are all scenes that Rosalind has with Orlando when she is dressed as a boy and I am trying to figure out what physical and vocal choices I am going to make to separate Rosalind from her male alter ego Ganymede.

I start to get anxious and second guess my choices when I have to step outside of my box. I am a girl. I can play a girl. But to have to make male choices and find a male voice and a male physicality, even if it is still a girl playing a boy- starts to make me feel nervous.

Because when you have to make more bold, albeit probably interesting character choices, it becomes more likely that people will either love them or hate them. It's a step out of my comfort zone which, obviously, acting is all about that, but at the same time, there are levels to that.

This is a good audition to work on this because it was a low pressure audition, the people were really nice and supportive, and at the end of the day, it's just a job. Doesn't even pay. So if I make a choice that they don't like and I don't get cast, oh well. It's just another audition. So I might as well just make the big choices. And stop being such a stupid ass pansy.

I got a callback for Rosalind for As You Like It. It will either happen on Tuesday or Thursday evening. Hopefully Thursday so I have more time to work on the sides.

In related news, turns out this is the only painting of Shakespeare that exists and it was only recently discovered to be of him.



Art historians have are saying it shows that Shakespeare was actually a part of the aristocracy by his mid forties and was not a penniless writer as most people like to think.

In my brain, Shakespeare was EXACTLY like Joseph Fiennes portrayed him in Shakespeare in Love. I don't care what anyone says. It's my favorite. Swoon.

Interesting Morning

I had an audition this morning for a play (As You Like It) at a tiny theatre on Hollywood and La Brea. I spent the night at my friend's house so that I would actually be close enough to have the energy to get out of bed while suffering from a day light's savings time change and go to the audition.

I walked to my car and there was a huge swarm of bees surrounding my car. they were mainly laying on the top of and then about a hundred were flying around it. It was terrifying. Bees can kill you! You can't mess around with them. So I stood there for a while waiting to see if they would abate, because I did not want to make them angry, and then finally I went back to my friend's house to try and see if we could brainstorm a solution to the situation.

After a while my friend decided to be brave and jumped in my car and drove it around the block to get the bees off. Meanwhile, being the brave warrior that I am, I ran, fled really back to the house.

Finally I was able to leave to my audition, thank god it wasn't a set time kind of thing, they just said to show up between 9 am and 12pm. Which by the way is stupid and inhuman because actors hate morning. I got there at about 11 40.

I read for Phebe and that went really well, luckily I have done her main speech before so it was not like a total cold read. But they thought it was! Muahaha.

Then they asked me to read for Rosalind also, which is rad because she is the lead and with Shakespeare companies it is rare that outsiders get to go straight for the top. Usually it is common knowledge that one works themselves up the ladder, though of course there are exceptions.

Would really love to get this part, I miss being onstage and I was surprised with how comfortable I was with the language since it has been a while since I have performed Shakespeare.

We shall see.

Randomly

I was flipping channels the other day and I saw in the menu guide the travel documentary that I worked on in Morocco. No one told me when it was premiering so I missed the first half of it.



I mainly show up in the second half though so it wasn't too tragic.



When I was actually in Morocco the director kept asking me to stand or sit or walk by in the background of whatever Richard was doing, and I kept saying that it was going to look like I was stalking Richard throughout the entire country, and of course, it does look totally creepy. There is a shot of me hanging out on a camel, a few of me with a baby, some of me taking pictures, and quite a few of me sitting at bars drinking.



The show looks pretty good, I really miss being there and I especially miss the 8 course meals every day. But I do not miss the heat. I only wish that the camera could really truly show how hot it was. Especially when we were in the Sahara with the Berbers, it was literally so hot that you would walk outside for ten minutes, stand there, and have to go back inside and lie down for an hour because you were so zapped from energy. You couldn't be outside between the hours of 10 am and 7 pm because you would risk insane dehydration. Except for the people who live there and are used to it obviously. My pansy ass definitely could not handle the heat. I am very sensitive to temperature!

I found a preview of the show but since I rule at computers I do not know how to put it up here. So I hereby give you a link. Thanks Youtube. There is a preview up for the Norway show also, but I will put it up when it premieres. Though you will see it most likely when you go to the link. Again, you can't really get the sense of how freaking cold it was in Norway in the film either. I wept internally every day from cold.


Richard Bang's - Adventures with Purpose Morocco!

Today

I had an audition for a commercial for some grocery store chain that I have never heard of before.

It was supremely unorganized. It didn't run too late, I was scheduled at 11 and was out of there by 11 30, which is not bad at all. But there was alot of tension in the room among the casting associates.

The lady in charge kept disappearing to talk on her phone and then when she would come back she would yell at the guy running the audition because he did it wrong, or auditioned girls for the wrong part, and so on. Not that it takes a genius to figure out who was for what part and since both the parts were non-speaking it's not like they were reading the wrong Shakespeare soliloquy.

I stood in front of the camera and smiled. Then I turned to my right, and I smiled. Then I pretended to wave to someone. And I smiled.

the end.

I wonder if this works...

I am willing to try.


Besides,

Warning.

My sister says that I shouldn't write blogs that are too long because blogs should specifically target our ADD culture and people do not have the patience to sit and read a moderately long blog post. So consider yourself warned, I will try to keep it relatively short.

Most people know that I am a nanny for my "non-acting" job. I have tried a few other jobs, I taught drama for a while for a non-profit and on occasion I substitute teach. Every once in a while I go through a re-evaluation of what kind of job I should be doing to feed me. Since clearly just being an actor is not enough.

The majority of my actor friends are waiters, bartenders, etc and while I have never done that before I think that at some point I will probably try it. Other than acting I have no patience for pretty much any other job and like to jump from one thing to another. It becomes too monotonous. So while the lack of longevity probably keeps me from earning a ton of money, it keeps me from blowing my brains out. I like skipping around.

I'd love to go back to school and get my Masters at some point, but it would probably be in theatre because obviously that is what I love. But I think if I get any older Hollywood will laugh even more at me. Le sigh. I wouldn't want to go back to school for anything else. I would LOVE to go live in Paris and study at the Lecoq School of Movement because it specializes in commedia style of acting, mainly clowning and stuff like that. You really can only do that in Europe. Lord knows all I have ever wanted is to live in France. I spend alot of my time trying to devise plans to get me there. School seems mainly my best option seeing as I have no marketable skills.

Here are my skills:

I can juggle.







I can stand on my head.








I can swordfight.



None of these are likely to help me feed myself.

My brother seems to have two suggestions as to what to do with my life.

A. Go to France solely for the purpose of finding a husband and then just stay there. I am ok with this option.

B. Since I am home quite a bit waiting for auditions to roll around I should start playing videogames and become a professional gamer and make money that way. Less enticing seeing as videogames give me a headache.

But thanks for the help anyways.

If anyone has any suggestions as to what a juggling, swordfighting, headstanding individual can do to make a living, I would appreciate them.

Thanks.

Grey Day.

First day off work and/or other commitments of a similar sort so I have been wonderfully lazy.

Got my hair dyed. Dark again. Or, darker than I was, which is what I prefer. I know you are enthralled with the difficult decisions I have to make in my life.

I'd really like some new headshots. After I go through my long list of other things I need before those (i.e. getting a new computer, dog training for Maeby, etc) I would love to get new pictures taken by Dana Patrick. She has done quite a few of my friend's pictures and I think they are just lovely. Mine are fine, other than that stupid scarf decision but I want some new ones now that I have made the decision to keep my bangs through the summer. I know this sounds like a stupid trivial decision, but first of all, I hate having bangs when it is hot because it overheats my forehead and sweat makes my hair curly. And that just is not cute. But also, if I am going to have my hair like this for a while then I definitely need new pictures to reflect that.

It's annoying that I have to take my appearance into consideration for so many things.

I am gonna read some more today I think. I have been reading a bunch of Sartre's plays because I have a compliation book. I finished No Exit (Huis-Clos) a few weeks ago and loved it, I wish someone would produce it around here! I have never actually seen any of his plays produced here. They are probably too dark for LA theatre. I started reading The Flies (Les Mouches) a few days ago but I haven't gotten through it yet. It's a bit more abstract than No Exit (if that is even possible!) so it requires a bit more concentration.



I agree.

LLL.

I did a play reading this afternoon for Shakespeare Santa Barbara for the show they are producing this summer, Love's Labour's Lost. It was super informal, just a bunch of actors who participated in previous shows getting together to read the play.

It was great to see the people I worked with a couple years ago when I did Comedy of Errors, even if LLL is probably one of my least favorite Shakespeare plays. It's really unfortunate that there are so many amazing plays and they have picked this one for this coming season.

It's long and drawn out and an insane amount of exposition with very little action. It is really easy to get lost in the language because nothing really happens other than people droning on and on for three hours. That said, it is a very romantic and as per usual with Shakespeare, beautifully written, but the humor and beauty gets lost in the drudgery of insane word puzzles and strange tangents.

Jackie Apodaca is directing it and I know she will cut it up. She's an awesome lady and it would be fun to work with her. Well onstage, because I used to nanny for her kids in real life. Clearly the theatre is not real life.

I think lot's of what I do is not real life.

How is the weekend already over?